Please See Us Through Our Tears.

You asked, "How are you doing?" As we tell you, tears come to our eyes. You immediately began to talk again, your eyes looked away from us, your speech picked up, and all the attention you had given us went away.

How are we doing? We do better when people will listen to our response, even though we may shed a tear or two...for so we want their attention; but to be ignored becuase we have in us pain which is indiscribable to anyone who has not been there...We hurt and feel angry. So when you look away, we are again alone with it.

Really, tears are not a bad sign, you know! They're natures way of helping us to heal. They relieve some of the stress of sadness. We know you fear that asking "How are you doing?" brought this sadness to us... No, you're wrong....The memory of Gabriella's death will always be with us, only a thought away. It's just that our tears make our pain more visible to you...but you did not give us the pain...It's just there.

When we cry, could it be that you feel helpless? You're not you know. When we feel your permission to allow my tears to flow, you've helped us more than you could know.

You need not verbalize your support of our tears...your silence as we cry is our key...do not fear.

Your listening with your hear to "How are you doing?" helps relieve the pain, because once we allow the tears to come and go, we feel lighter. Talking to you releases things we've been wanting to say aloud, and then there's space for a touch of joy in our lives.

Honest, when we tear up and cry, that doesn't mean we'll cry forever...maybe just a minute or two..then we'll wipe the tears away, and sometimes you'll even find we're laughing at something ten minutes later.

When we hold back our tears, our throat grows tight, our chest aches, and our stomachs begin to knot up...because we're trying to protect you from our tears...then we both hurt..us, we kept the pain inside and it's a shield against our closeness, and then you hurt becuase suddenly we're distant.

Please take our hands...and we promise not to cry forever...(It's physically impossible you know)

When you see us through our tears...then we can be close again.